Tag Archives: Easter cake

Resurrection Day Self-Rising Chocolate Cake

Jesus from the cave-graveIt’s Easter time and that means dead folks are crawling out of caves and graves and all the other cubbies to which people skulk off and die. Now, if Jesus can come back all luminous and GQ after a being nailed to a cross, what’s stopping trillions of other corpses from clawing themselves out of maggotry to visit retribution upon us all? Like Jesus, these other judgmental, pulse-envy second-chancers will be reviewing our lifestyles for infractions such as Buddhism and cross-dressing, so eat your Easter Peep-laden cakes now before these decomposed finger-pointers overtake our world with the stench of moral rectitude.

Resurrection Day Self-rising Chocolate Cake


1 stick of butter

1 c. sugar

4 eggs

1 c. self-rising flour

16 oz. can chocolate syrup

1 tsp. vanilla

1 c. chopped nuts

4 oz. jar marshmallows



Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Blend in flour and chocolate syrup. Add vanilla and nuts. Bake in greased and floured 10 x 15 x 2 inch pan at 350 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes and leave in pan. While still warm, spread marshmallow cream. Spread with frosting immediately. 15 to 24 servings. 



Filed under Judgment

Music to which One Would Bake an Apocalyptic Easter-themed Cake

Between hunting for synthetic eggs and microwaving Peeps®, please enjoy some of the music that’s inspiring the next exciting (Easter-themed!) apocalypse cake.

1. I Have Forgiven Jesus – Morrissey[MP3]
2. Graveyard – The Yeah Yeah Yeahs[MP3]
3. Night of the Living Dead – The Misfits[MP3]
4. If It Had Not Been for Jesus – Blind Willie Johnson[MP3]
5. Your Beat Kicks Back Like Death – Scout Niblett[MP3]


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