Jonestown Kool-Aid Cake

Jim Jones can helpIf 1978’s capitalist America could drive 900 people to follow Jim Jones to his Guyanese socialist compound to grow vegetables and commit revolutionary suicide, 2010’s emigration should be epic. When Microsoft and Pfizer’s merger produces a Zoloft-enabled Bluetooth headset to keep you connected to your company’s server 24 hours a day, you won’t have time for communist pastimes such as sleep and masturbation. Better indulge in this tangy grape Kool-Aid cake now before you lose your shit, move to Jonestown and gag over the vat of grape flavored cyanide. 

1 pack of grape Kool-Aid
1 box of cake mix
1 1/3 cups of water
1/3 cup of vegetable oil
3 large eggs

Preheat oven to 350 and think about how you’re going to keep it together tomorrow at work. Grease pan with shortening and flour lightly. Blend dry mix, water, oil, Kool-Aid and eggs in large bowl at low speed until moistened. Beat at medium speed for 2 minutes and pour batter in pans. Bake for 32-35 minutes in one 13” x 9” pan. Cool completely before frosting.


Filed under Cults

19 responses to “Jonestown Kool-Aid Cake

  1. chewea

    I’ve heard that cyanide tastes like peaches! I wonder if the taste clashed with the kool-aid. I guess we’ll never know…

  2. Anita Mann

    To be true Jonestown cake, you need Flavor-Aid. They were too cheap to use Kool-Aid.

  3. berryblade

    Can you get kool-aid or equivilant thereof in Australia?


    Actually it’s almonds.

  4. psychologist1

    strange color for a cake. lol! I would not risk to taste it!

    • i made a lemon one and its delicious it makes the cake so moist

      • You can make any recipe just use the flavor of kool aid a white cake mix and follow the cake directions i used Betty crocker super moist white cake mix with vanilla frosting and you can mix in cool aid into that as well but its really strong use only half a packet per vanilla canister

  5. chewea

    I guess there is a myth that peach pits actually contain cyanide. I was confused.

  6. Merry Prankster

    I’ve always wanted to take The Electric Kool-Aid Cake Test 😉

  7. Hello
    Do you mind if I post your photo of the cake in my own wordpress blog, linking back to you, of course. I am writing a post about blindly following the dictates of natural horsemanship gurus and suggesting that students of a particular trainer bake this cake.
    Thanks so much.

  8. Completely demented genius.

  9. Pingback: Jonestown trollz. | Kate Getty

  10. Not to be downer, but there are things to snark about and things not to. Jonestown might not be one of em.

  11. bluetooth headsets are great because they are wireless and your movement is not limited by wires ~””

  12. Cyanide does indeed taste like almonds, or at least smells like almonds.

  13. Luke

    Hahaha yeah 900 people died! Lets make a cake about it! :/ some people make me sick

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