Sodom and Gomorrah Fruitcake

Life in Sodom can't be beat.With all the hot gay sex going on, life in Sodom is fucking awesome. Ladies are climaxing like never before, Abercrombie & Fitch models are exhausting Crisco inventories, and transsexuals continue to boggle DMV workers. But our activities have raised the ire of boring old hetero-normative God, and he will surely destroy us in a rain of sulfur and fire. He’s especially pissed that we’re advertising our activities on Bravo. Better get your sodomy and cakes in now before our sexy little Earth gets overrun by his evangelical zealots and they take away all of our dildos and electric mixers.

1 Osem kosher walnut cake
1 box of Pizazz Fancy Fruit Flavored Slices

The special thing about this fruit cake is that you can eat it year-round — not just for Christmas. In fact, I made mine with all-kosher ingredients for Passover. Just dice your Pizazz Fancy Fruit Flavored Slices and insert them in to a yummy kosher walnut cake. After that, you can put whatever you want into it.


Filed under Divine Geographic Leveling

13 responses to “Sodom and Gomorrah Fruitcake

  1. moxie

    YES. This is exactly the kind of cake I need. But since it’s cake, and not cock, can we hold the condoms?

  2. Dee

    I know that gays and lesbians are persecuted by some people who have hate in them, but your writing makes it look like you think Evangelical Christians are living to hate others. I for one, know it isn’t true. Have you ever talked with an Evangelical Christian?

  3. Bugger

    Evangelical Christians are living to hate mah sexeh times. Let them eat (fruit) cake.

  4. Rainne

    @Dee, I’ve talked with Evangelical Christians plenty of times. They DO live to hate others; it’s their entire function in life. If they don’t hate gays, pro-choicers, Catholics, Masons, Muslims and/or geeks who play Dungeons and Dragons, they hate atheists, agnostics, secularists, and Democrats.

    Try again with the innocent act; most of the world knows better.

    • “pro choice” is the same as saying “anti-life”.

      • Rainne

        Yeah yeah. You guys are all pro-“life” right up until the baby’s born and the mom needs financial help to clothe and house it, health care to make sure it stays healthy or food stamps to keep it fed. Then it’s on its own.

        If pro-choice is the same as anti-life then pro-life is the same as pro-fetus-but-anti-woman.

    • Jon

      I’m a Christian and I do my best not to hate anyone. Its just that I choose to respect and eschew the living GOD’s word. He gave us a better way to live. Homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality are by his word vile, disgusting, perverted acts that will lead to madness and eternal death. These acts are not anyway to raise children in this world. People who practice these acts can repent and AGAIN, GOD will forgive according to his word. That is good enough for me.

      • Right, right. Living god. Which living god would that be? Isis? Vishnu? Thor?
        Whatever. Tell you what, Jon, you mind your own damn business and stay out of MY bedroom, MY house and MY family’s life, and I’ll stay out of YOURS. Deal?

  5. Rainne

    P.S. That fruitcake looks yummy, but I’m allergic to latex. 😉

  6. Pingback: Kasey Picks Favorite Apocalypse Cakes Recipe Card « Apocalypse Cakes

  7. The Righteous Athiest

    Well hey now! Sodom and Gomorrah were not good! It wasn’t even sex, it was rape! That’s why it was suposedly destoyed, because there were so many rapists. Rape is not to be celebrated nor associated with homosexuality.

    And this artical seems to further the steriotype that homosexuality is nothing but sex. Why does the community do this to itself??! ARGH!

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