“Inexplicable” Blackbird Pie

Hark! As foretold in the Book of Revelation, The Lord’s Aviary of Retribution has burst forth and festooned our cul-de-sacs with its decorative corpses. The dead birds are part of a menu of surf and turf — fish, crabs, blood, frogs, Craisins® — whose descent signals Jesus’ return for the battle of Armageddon. But we’ve ignored the scriptures, having instead whitewashed the avian holocaust’s prophetic message with scientific explanations. And for this infraction, the Almighty will command legions of righteous grackles to tear through your ceilings into your godless homes, splattering their diseased bird gore onto every inch of your Pottery Barn-ed, paganscaped estates. Best to gorge on some “Inexplicable” Blackbird Pie today before you suffocate under a festering pile of feathered carcasses.

Ingredients
Any type of pie with slime inside
1 nasty little gore-stuffed synthetic blackbird

Directions
Drive to the suburbs with your pies and birds. Insert birds into pies. Drop pies from sky, creating a decorative splatter pattern for the neighbors to see. Invite everyone out for dessert.

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9 Comments

Filed under Judgment

9 responses to ““Inexplicable” Blackbird Pie

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention “Inexplicable” Blackbird Pie | Apocalypse Cakes -- Topsy.com

  2. I saw your post on LiveJournal.. I find your cakes great! They’re so well put together! :)

  3. Saw this via lj also. I think this is fantastic. Sorry your post got deleted.

  4. “Ew,” is all I can think of to say. =)

  5. Gene

    Since when is bird deaths funny. You obviously have no morals or care about your soul which smells rotten I am sure too.

  6. Amber

    Ew. No thanks.

  7. Minister Faust

    Revelation–singular.

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