With all the hot gay sex going on, life in Sodom is fucking awesome. Ladies are climaxing like never before, Abercrombie & Fitch models are exhausting Crisco inventories, and transsexuals continue to boggle DMV workers. But our activities have raised the ire of boring old hetero-normative God, and he will surely destroy us in a rain of sulfur and fire. He’s especially pissed that we’re advertising our activities on Bravo. Better get your sodomy and cakes in now before our sexy little Earth gets overrun by his evangelical zealots and they take away all of our dildos and electric mixers.
Ingredients
1 Osem kosher walnut cake
1 box of Pizazz Fancy Fruit Flavored Slices
Directions
The special thing about this fruit cake is that you can eat it year-round — not just for Christmas. In fact, I made mine with all-kosher ingredients for Passover. Just dice your Pizazz Fancy Fruit Flavored Slices and insert them in to a yummy kosher walnut cake. After that, you can put whatever you want into it.
6 Comments
April 8, 2009 at 8:20 am
YES. This is exactly the kind of cake I need. But since it’s cake, and not cock, can we hold the condoms?
April 21, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Actually, I’m going to need the condoms to keep me from getting crumbs all over my dong. Itchy.
November 18, 2009 at 11:27 pm
I know that gays and lesbians are persecuted by some people who have hate in them, but your writing makes it look like you think Evangelical Christians are living to hate others. I for one, know it isn’t true. Have you ever talked with an Evangelical Christian?
December 18, 2009 at 11:44 am
Evangelical Christians are living to hate mah sexeh times. Let them eat (fruit) cake.
December 18, 2009 at 4:37 pm
@Dee, I’ve talked with Evangelical Christians plenty of times. They DO live to hate others; it’s their entire function in life. If they don’t hate gays, pro-choicers, Catholics, Masons, Muslims and/or geeks who play Dungeons and Dragons, they hate atheists, agnostics, secularists, and Democrats.
Try again with the innocent act; most of the world knows better.
December 18, 2009 at 4:37 pm
P.S. That fruitcake looks yummy, but I’m allergic to latex.